Babysitting Frodo
by self-piercing
Summary: Since babysitting Cartman went so great, Itachi makes Sasuke babysit the mentally unstable Frodo. This is going to work out great. Itachi: "He still runs around with a cape on, he's hairy and midget like." It's Frodo time!


"I have a small favor to ask." Itachi told his younger brother. His eyes widened with fright. "We're still working on the babysitting project on school, and I've made plans for the evening, you won't mind would you?" Sasuke was shaking his head remembering last night's horrors, Eric Cartman, the fat, annoying, spoiled fourth grader. "This one is older, but he still runs around with a cape on, he's hairy and midget like." Sasuke wanted to die right there, he hated his brother for this. "He'll come in about an hour." With that Itachi went. If Sasuke had any idea how messed up this kid was.

The half hour the kid named Frodo ran around the house looking for something. He went around talking about great evils and orks. Sasukes opinion, he must have been playing too many video games. He was a total mess. After looking around the house Frodo offered his hand saying "Saesa omentien lle" Sasuke looked at him and slowly said what the fuck. "You're not known to the elvish language?" Frodo. "Someone has serious gamming problems," Sasuke said and went to the kitchen.

Sasuke started making food for the two of them. Reaching for a plate he dropped it. Frodo jumped under the table screaming Aragon gripping something hanging around his neck. "Geez, I just dropped a plate." Frodo look scared around the room. "It has to be protected, it's not safe," he mumbled crawling under the table. "Do you want bread with our food?" Sasuke asked. Frodos face lit up in joy. "Do you have lembas bread?" Sasuke glared at him. "Never heard about it." Frodos face dropped. "You don't speak elvish, you don't eat what they do… Still you look like one…" Frodo said wondering. "I look like a fucking elf?!" Sasuke screamed.

After eating in awkward silence Tenten had come over to work Sasuke and hers science project. "Your eyes shine like a beautiful river on a spring day," Frodo said admirering her. Tenten giggled and waved her hand in front of her face. "Stop it, you're making me blush." Frodo took her hand, "I'm sure you're your blush looks like a beautiful midsummer rose." Sasuke smacked his forehead. He really wanted to get this flower, nature, hippie project over with. "Tenten, concentrate!" he said making no effort to hid the annoyance in his voice.

"I live out on the country, on a hill yes." Frodo said nodding. Sasukes effort to get Tenten to work was a waste of time. They had been talking non-stop. Sasukes head was hurting from all the noise. "Can we please start working on our project before I kill you?" Sasuke said. Frodo jumped up and draw his sword. "Nobody hurts the lady!" he screamed. "Wow, calm down shortie!" Sasuke said steeping backwards. "For Moria!" Frodo started running, Sasuke in front screaming a little child hearing noises from the closet. "I'm not going to hurt her!" Sasuke screamed hoping he would stop. "You're nothing like an elf, you're an ork!" Sasuke became so deeply insulted that he stopped and kicked the sword out of his hands.

After tying up Frodo much to Tentens dismay, Sasuke placed him on the floor. Frodo wouldn't stop screaming so Sasuke went to find something to take care of the problem. "ARAGORN! THEY'RE TRYING TO STEAL THE RING!" He screamed and kicked so violently he was moving is circles down on the floor. A few seconds after Tenten left Sasuke suddenly felt something cold on his neck. Suddenly he noticed that Frodo had become quiet. "We have some computers in the other room. One of them has WOW," he said quietly not to scare, or upset him. "You're not a Nazgûl or an ork. What do you need the ring for, human?" A grown man said while smelling his neck in a non-romantic way. "What ring? I just wanted Frodo to shut the fuck up." Sasuke explained while showing the scarf he had found.

The man dropped his sward when he felt something sharp against his neck. "If you fuck my little one, I'll fuck yours." It was Itachi who spoke. "No gay undertones." He said quickly. Sasuke almost peed his pants of fright. He ran behind Itachi hiding. Suddenly he felt something small hitting him with force. He turned around and received another punch from the little hobbit. His head was pushed backwards. "For lembas bread!" He screamed hitting again. This time Sasuke hit him back and they started fighting. They both called for help between the punches. Itachi and Aragorn had quickly become friends and sat watching the fight. "Yours is kind of hairy, isn't it?" Itachi said. Aragorn nodded agreeing to the statement. "Yours again is too thin." Itachi smiled. "He has a BMI of a little girl." The two small ones were getting tired after a short while. "Let me give you lembas bread!" Sasuke yelled jumping over the sofa. His leg hit the back and he fell head first. Frodo took the opportunity and jumped on his back pulling his hair. "Duck belongs in the pond!" Sasuke was wiggling like a worm trying to get away from the rain. Okey, Sasuke was moving a bit faster than a worm.

"Time to break them up?" Itachi asked as Frodo was pulling hair off Sasukes poor head. Aragorn got up and picked up Frodo. "You did well, time to return to the Shire." Itachi followed them to the door, while Sasuke was having spasms of pain and shock. "Just tell me if he needs babysitting again! We had so much fun!" Itachi yelled after them waving.

I'm going to make three more of those, making it a week project at school for Itachi. Since I've done one earlier with Cartman I have three more to go. I'm thinking about one with Harry Potter. That means there's two I haven't decided yet, so tell me if there's any you want Sasuke to babysit. He's really good at it, isn't he?


End file.
